just one word at a time

So, ugh, remember how I said one of my goals for 2011 was to complete the first chapter of my novel? And then remember how we bought a house and I got pregnant and I stopped writing altogether? Well, I just did something crazy to remedy this little predicament: I signed up for national novel writing month. This participation dictates that I write an entire novel in November. Yessiree, starting November 1 I will attempt to write 50,000 words in 30 days. And if I only get a first chapter out of the exercise? Golden.

I realized this week that although I'm incredibly happy from the outside-in, I've lost my way in how to be happy from the inside-out. Being in the trenches 24/7 with a toddler has wrecked havoc on my self esteem; having very little control over the outcome of anything in my day has begun to make me feel invisible. I need to do something completely for me as I close out this year. I'm the only one responsible for that journey and I'm hopeful that this commitment will force me to look fear and failure in the face. Stop thinking about the damn story and write it!