I was watching Joy Behar interview Roseanne Barr last night and I started feeling depressed and anxious. Life is happening right now. Life is passing right now. Is this what I want to be doing? Am I doing what I want to do with my life? It became clear in that instant that the world is divided into two camps, consumers and creators. And right now, I am a consumer. My recent desire for simplicity goes way beyond stuff. When I read blogs or play around on Stumble Upon during naptime or stay up to watch sitcoms after the house is once again asleep, I am consuming without any output. And I don't want to be a consumer, I want to be consumed. I want to be a part of the conversation, not on the sidelines taking it all in. I know, I've been tired this year, creating a life and nurturing growth in a small child, but all this mindless consumption is numbing me. I'm afraid I'll wake up 60 years old wondering what the hell happened. I was going to write a book, start a business, produce a film ... if I don't start now when do I think this is going to happen?

So I'm giving myself some goals this year rather than resolutions. In writing, here we go:

1. Write the first chapter in my novel.
2. Host a simplicity retreat.
3. Post at least once a week.
4. Write up a business plan for philanthropy consulting.

That's a good start I think. A bit ambitious even, especially if we plan to move and get pregnant again. Geesh. But if I post these 4 goals maybe they will inspire me to do something when I have a free hour here and there, keep me on track with my creativity. I think part of the problem is knowing I only have an hour or two at a time, I mean, what can I get done in an hour or two? But if I see each hour as part of a larger goal ...

I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that. ~Mr. Dobler